bedrest for another 6 wks. From my lovely mothers womb. She did not do this, as a parent, or as a nurse. Why would that matter? I couldnt bare the thought of treating him/her like any less than my baby So he/she was cremated despite how small he/she was. Yes, all are present and accounted for. time doesnt make it easier. I hate how taboo the subject of miscarriage is. We couldnt believe how quickly it had all happened. Its hard. Here are some important guidelines for the Muslim mother who has had a miscarriage (losing a baby before 24 weeks of gestation) or a stillbirth (losing a Then, one day, quite suddenly it seemed, she found out she was carrying child number four. explained to him was: As for the tall man who was in the garden, that was <3. There are no restrictions. The doctor coldly said no heartbeat and turned and walked out of the room. A few days later, at my first prenatal, they ran tests because we were sure we had miscarried. I pray you find comfort in the coming weeks, and thank you for sharing your tips for others. If you see the baby it might be outside the sac by now. We have six children! I get through my days and try to distract myself but not a day goes by that Im thinking about my little angle. Because I literally feel like my hearts been ripped out again on top of the reminder of my other 3 babies on top of this recent 4th. It was awful. Go back to your pregnancy and imagine going in for your 40w appointment expecting to hear that youre dilated further and itll be any day, but instead finding out the baby youve spend 9 months loving, feeling, planning for, waiting for, naming, dreaming about, is gone and 40 weeks of pregnancy, and a long labor and painful delivery were all for nothing but heartache and emptiness. One was my pastors wife coming to my house afterward to clean and to use essential oils to get rid of the terrible blood smell that was so upsetting to me. Better early than later on. How is that better? Above all, be patient with us. That is the advice I would give to others when you have a friend who lost a child. I miss the baby who would have been but I know he is kickin it with Jesus and what more could a mother ask for? I am amazed at the different responses I actually get. Love you <3 behind this post. old; they will enjoy their youth for ever and ever. I pray all the time for strength, peace, and trust in God, but honestly I still feel extremely grief stricken and broken. According to imam an-Nawawi in his commentary of sahih Muslim ( ) first of all there is/was a dispute about if any little child would go to jannah as there are many hadiths showing that this even wasn't clear for Muslim children. So, last night, in our small community of believers, God allowed the broken open area to be safely sanitized and then He bound me up. Its also a way to make me make good decisions, so I can hug her and tell her how much I love her on that special day. I am going to pray for you right nowthat you will have peace in this loss and that your family will understand this very real loss. God knows what my mother took. Such a blessing. Both of my babies were wanted pregnancies, my husband and I were trying each time we conceived. I am a mother of twin babies that my husband and I lost at 7 weeks 4 days. I was cautiously optimistic, but a week later it was over. We tried for a while to get pregnant, finally did, and our daughter was still born at 35 weeks two weeks ago. I love your organization, and though Ive never had to use it personally I know several who have and the pictures theyve had done have brought them so much peace. I just delivered our 6th living child 1month ago today. I will meet him/ her when I pass. Partager. I will never forget him taking his little Carley in his hands tell her how much he loved her and he was her daddy and if you want anything my dear i will get for you honey. So we did, and I got pregnant the first go round! All was well with her world, or so it seemed. We sort of used protection so when I didnt have a period by March 12, I called the OB office. On Sunday it was over. Absolutely he is in heaven. I know our lives never turn out like we can imagine, but my prayer is that He will help you to see some beauty in yours. All my babies are in heaven.all. Suggest a get together or girls night when I am feeling better. This month we will celebrate my brothers 35th birthday by doing random acts of kindness in his honor. His heart stopped beating and it turned out that the cord was wrapped around his neck tightly 2x. ! Not just two. The truth is they dont know. This condition affects 250 babies in the USA every year and there is a 50% survival rate. Also see footnotes of Shaykh Muhammad Awwamah on Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah, Hadith: 12002 and 12009), The Arabic word used in this Hadith is which refers to A stillborn child/miscarried fetus whose features and limbs are partially formed, (Refer: An Nihayah Fi Gharibil Hadith, vol. I do know that we will have a big reunion with those four children in Heaven. I am a better person because of what has happened the past year. Some scholars are of the opinion that they will all -- old Mention the baby or pregnancy, ask them how they are REALLY doing, and be sensitive about certain milestones like due dates, six months or one year after the loss, etc. Our oldest daughter struggled with understanding too. Also narrated by al-Haythami Also, peoples way of comforting is just hurtful.. Todays Mothers Day and I should be holding my little nine month old babyboy. I watched everything I did Then again 48 hours later and my numbers looked good. Well this last year I found out i was pregnant for the 4th time and I was so thrilled that we were but under the circumstances of our house getting fixed and money issues because my husband and I were unemployed we were very scared but happy at the same time. But after two consecutive miscarriages when I got pregnant again I was not a ball of sunshine and excitement. exalted, to them and their parents and as a mercy from Him, Whose mercy I love the name Leviand, yes, he is STILL your baby, and you are STILL his mama! Its easier to say yes to a specific offer instead of asking for the help later on! Love, compassion and empathy are all thats needed. I then had a healthy baby boy, and eighteen months after his birth, gave birth to my third baby boy. But I still considered it a dream come true. How could I trust God when I trusted Him the first time and He allowed my healthy, thriving baby girl to die on her due date? But naive as I was, I thought she was fine. Recently a colleague of mine lost a 2 year old son and she cried she kept saying she wished he had died before she knew what he looked like, what it felt like holding him. After we lost him, we decided to name him. That always helps to be able to give back. Be there, listen, have compassion and empathy. Im simply more excited because I know that after I die I still get to meet my precious baby in heaven. Its so hard for me to face the day What a special way to honor your Oliver! Allah gives us tests in this life, granting us an opportunity to become His beloved servants. I learned a lot personally through this horrible time in my life, but one thing I learned is how to better help other women going through miscarriage. I had never even processed the fact that they made caskets so small before I, myself, had to buy one. Is there a Hadith which states that a miscarriedfetus will take its parents to Jannah? Just because I dont have a toddler running around me doesnt mean she wasnt born!. ', referring to the nuclear power plant in Ignalina, mean? And to be honest, I torture myself with the thought that maybe I was lied to. I thought mentally would be harder to hold and love him but I truly wish we would have and beat myself up each day as Im mourning and wondering if that would have been my closure. I have this strong hunch that I don't want to see them even in Jannah. Thanks for posting this! Its true, if you havent been through it, you cant comprehend how it feels. you could say she is spoiled and she may smell her from miles away. It was so hard to tell my husband, daughter and family that another baby was gone. They said that she had just died according to the scan. I will never be able to see the color of his eyes or smell his sweet baby smell. We were out of town and I am just now seeing this. I have not experienced the pain of losing a baby. The medical profession has failed me/us abysmally, abysmally. They always ask me if I get to see them often, I smile and my response is I have one grandson in Ga, he is two. Views : I am trying to keep my faith and it is hard. I named my son Zephaniah Uriah. That tells me that God sees our babies in our wombs and has plans for them. Then we were due again just over a month apart. Bring a book. I, too, lost a baby at an early time- 5 weeks. Every time I heard one of those phrase I wanted to scream, Yes but theres still someone missing! Show her you love her, even if its just a shoulder to cry on. Um, mildly. Ive resigned myself to that. Mostly, reading my Bible, praying, and keeping a journal. Full House Yet Vacant Rooms He then went on to ask me if I had any fears with this pregnancy, ordered an early ultrasound and continued to be attentive and kind throughout my entire pregnancy. My son and daughter in law recently miscarried my first grandchild 6 weeks ago when their first child was 3 months old. places there. Ive had a hard time with that. Life moves on and I pull myself out of bed everyday. The Biblical view is that life begins at conception (Psalm 139:13-16) That being the case youll see your siblings and your unborn child in Heaven, along with all other miscarried babies and the 40 million aborted babies this world has discarded. I would rather have an awkward conversation with someone than to have no conversation at all. I never knew you could love someone so much. I know that in Jannah we will get a perfect brain, soul, body and character. Should we pretend it didnt happen? Kandle, I have 24 year old g/b twins, and my son had an identical for 12-16 weeks. Tell one morning I started to hurt and I called Eddie and he take me to the ER and they said I lost the babies. As a mom who has lost children through miscarriage, had stillborn twins followed by a hysterectomy and a 22 year old daughter, Im uniquely qualified to say that the loss of a child hurts regardless of the circumstances. More women and men treating those couples like us that have lost children like parents not someone to stay away from. Dont ask what she needs, just anticipate and do it. Child in Islam (+ Islamic Resources At least the physical reminder of my loss is finally diminishing. Can my creature spell be countered if I cast a split second spell after it? Youre on my mind. I survived because of those people. Thats one part of satisfaction you have when you lose a child. Someone asked me if it was hard. I cant trust her anymore. ! Allah have mercy on him), but he favoured the view that these children who There can never be enough conversation about this. As my firstborn was only about seven months old, we gleefully discussed all things baby together. I was at work in a teen clinic, surrounded by girls who didnt want to be bothered enough by their babies to breastfeed them. A couple of days later I had a D&C, and to add to the traumatic experience I woke up right in the middle of it. I felt like my friends, and even my family got very uncomfortable when I mentioned it, and none of them, except my younger bother and sister of all people, would ever bring it up.